A Cultural Futurist Deconstruction of Brat

Critical Theory from the Horseshoe Hotel

I found out that some mainstream conservatives had been reading my writing.

They didn’t understand it. At first, they were shocked. How could I be speaking in this techno-babble without being some kind of communist? A hipster cyberpunk into Dávila. A Jüngerian E-Girl into accelerationism. The audacity! So, I leaned in. I decided to discuss Brat. What were my other options at this point? Let’s get real. This was the only option I had left.

I was going to have to deconstruct Brat for a new Cultural Futurist Trend Report.

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Are you Brat?

Kamala is Brat, but what does it mean? Does anyone care? Brat is technically an album by Charli XCX, but it’s also the literal zeitgeist. The album sounds quite bad, but can we embody the vibe for the season? Brat is not an album. It’s a concept. It’s a symbol. It’s a sigil. It’s a psyop and you’re currently inside of it. Are you Brat?

Brat gets it. All good marketing is about “getting it.” An inferior product will do better than a superior project as long as the inferior product gets it. Marketing is, and has always been, about getting it. What is getting it? Well, you have to be in-the-know. You have to posses the secret. Kamala has the secret. She’s holding onto it right now. Kamala knows because Kamala is Brat. Her praxis is showing but her theory is dead. Shall we resurrect it for the party? Activate.

Guess who’s doing meme magic this time around? It’s the Democrats. Get it? Did you get it this time? Kamala is the new counterculture. Dark MAGA, there’s a new sheriff in town. Kamala wants you to subscribe. She’s doing The Pepe Trick for her campaign. She’s on covers of magazines. She’s on altars of mystical teens. She’s the celebrity prize. She’s the streamer on the latest graph. She’s the wine aunt with the greatest laugh. She isn’t too weird or offensive. She’s just Brat.

Now I cannot reveal my sources, but I’m pretty sure that Trump is also Brat. If you know then you know. Charli XCX may have signed a deal with the White House. It’s supposed to look surreal for the press. Are you in it or of it? Perhaps you’re above it. Are you above it all? All of this is Brat. Smile for the zeitgeist as it gazes into you directly. (slave/master) Brat owns you and you like it that way. Biden will never be Brat. RFK is not really Brat. Tulsi used to be Brat but now she’s moved on. Who was that other guy? Who is Charli XCX? Why am I writing this? (master/slave)

The Brat Inside

You can be Brat if you know. Once you’re in-the-know you are Brat. The Brat Inside wants to come out and play. It will release itself through you with or without your consent. You’re a mere channel for Brat to communicate. It’s fine if you already know this. It’s fine if you don’t. It’s fine if critical theory isn’t your thing. It’s fine if you think this is communism. It’s fine if you think this is capitalism. It’s fine if you think Brat is capitalism. It’s fine if you think this is fascism. Do you think this is fascism? Do you think this is Brat?

Can you tell me if this article is Brat? Sound off in the comments. Do you think I am Brat? Are you having a Brat summer? Can you see the Brat inside of me? I can see the Brat inside of you. If you understand this sentence you might understand Brat, but even if you don’t understand Brat I still get where you’re coming from. This is what I’m seeking to explain here. You don’t have to be Brat for me to like you. You simply have to be. Nevertheless, if you don’t examine The Brat Inside, what are you even doing in this century?

While exploring the terrain for this Cultural Futurist Trend Report I found myself perplexed at the horror of Brat and all the (in)formation it contained. Was Brat Leviathan? The whole concept had a Cthulhu-esque element to it. What if Brat was Cthulhu? Was it all just a prank by Nick Land? What had happened to me? My deep dive had me on the verge of drowning. I could no longer live in a Brat society. The experiment was over. There was no real reason for me to be deconstructing Brat.

In the End it Didn’t Even Matter

I had known that Brat was nonsense this entire time. That was the naked truth. I’d felt inspired to write this modest proposal because mainstream conservatives didn’t understand my writing. Brat was a hoax. I was just a girl looking to find my audience. Gwen Stefani would have understood, no doubt. I’d thought that by writing this I’d become someone something somewhere somehow different from Brat. I’d thought that by writing this I’d invent my own vibe for the season.

It is here that I must conclude my Cultural Futurist Trend Report. Thank you for exploring my deep dive into Brat. Please share it with your friends and family alike. It takes a global village network state.

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